Poem: One Day You’ll Forget Her

I previously posted this poem on YouTube but realised it hasn’t appeared on my blog;

I have every feeling while having no emotion
The doctor is trying to give me every pill and potion
The think they can fix me up
But it isn’t as simple as finding a cure for a sample in a cup
Trying to detach myself from the bad things around me
Attempting to forget the memories my mind makes me see
Flashbacks at night
Fill every inch of my body with fright
Panic attacks in the day
Stop me from saying the words my mind needs to say
Everyone tells me ‘one day it will get better
And you know little Stacey, one day you’ll forget her’
That would be easy for me to do
If the past I have wasn’t the one I knew
The older I get
The more I’m supposed to forget
The problem is the older i am the more I remember
To the government I’m just another number
I’m speaking up for every victim or survivor who doesn’t know what to say
Or at least I’m giving it a go anyway

Pick yourself up and dust yourself down
I don’t know why you always wear a frown
You should be happy
I don’t understand why you get so snappy
But you were fine this morning
Don’t you get some kind of warning
I can’t be around you like this

I try and tell them I didn’t ask for a past like this
There are parts of my childhood I miss
Others remembered with guilt and shame
Wondering if I was the one to blame
I could call you every name under the sun
I could disappear and go on the run
But that wouldn’t change the things he has done
That would mean that he’s won
I might not see him in court
He was a coward and couldn’t face getting caught
I was kept quiet for too long
About the things he did to me that were so wrong
Why should I be the one to be made to feel guilty
When it was him who did those things to me

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