I struggle to open up to people. I don’t like to feel or be seen to be vulnerable so instead i end up bottling up how I feel. I am very good at only showing people the parts of me that I want them to know, different people get to see different parts of me, very rarely does any one person gets to see the whole me. If I feel as though I am opening up to someone too much and am letting them see too much of me then I start to push them away.
I have been like this for as long as I can remember.
It’s not okay, and at times it can be exhausting.
Although slowly as I have gotten older I have learnt that it is okay to let people in. That isn’t to say I’m not stilll guarded and I have a very big wall built up when it comes to certain things, but there is a door and I’m slowly learning that I can let people through that door instead of holding them at arms length.
I guess holding people at arms length was my way of protecting myself but that hasn’t always worked out.
I’ve learnt to open up to the people who are important to me so that they can understand me and how I feel more.